Joy +1 yes please

I’m not sure if I can sustain reading about psychology and specifically about Poisonous Pedagogy any longer. Important insights, big revelations, but oh so dark. My reading speed did almost grind to a halt. Maybe one last quote:

“Pedagogy Fills the Needs of Parents, Not of Children” — Alice Miller, from her book “For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence”

Actually that was a chapter title, but… indeed.

Now on to something else, something that delights me beyond measure. A poem a viewer left as comment on one of my Youtube videos:

LOWERING MY BODY WITH THE SPIRAL AND FEELING ECSTASY

Life offers me fluidity
As I spiral
Un
To
Ecstasy,
First from standing,
Then to the floor,
I twist my hips
And so explore,
The joy
Of fluid movement.
What utter grace,
Can be.
As I lower
Of my body
Why it’s all
So
Heav…en-ly.

Poem by Martin Mittelmark, as a comment on my video “Move smoothly from standing to sitting on the floor”, youtu.be/fftXkm6Mlu0

Oh so wonderful! I don’t know if Martin is a reader of my blog, but somehow he must be in the know…

Please (continue to) practice your own creativity, open the flood gates, whether your favourite medium of expression is drawing, writing, singing, dancing, garden work, flower arranging or … good question, which are the ways?

A disclaimer

The literature (childhood psychology, adult psychoanalysis) I’m wading through at the moment is quite heavy, or maybe: as heavy as it gets. However, it makes no sense to skip it just in order to avoid difficult topics. They hold value for movement based lessons, and for personal development. I think I can find inspiration there.

However, since these topics are pretty dense, and texts get convoluted and hard to read fast, I will try to condense some of my writing into poems, or something.

Also, I think a lot of these »things« not only apply to compulsory schooling, families and social dynamics, but also how we move physically, or maybe even how we are, physically. What people (“we”, really) do in the garden or gym, how they do sports (or not), sit, eat, stand, walk, stir their coffees, brush their teeth, make love, what sleep positions they prefer etc might not be all that different to the way they conduct and experience their social and family lives.

I guess. Let’s see.

This issue just keeps boiling up

I was under the impression that we’re good, gesamtgesellschaftlich betrachtet, as society as a whole, but this issue just keeps boiling up. It’s like a movie plot that keeps presenting itself over and over again. Different movies with the same plots.

I just don’t know how to write about it, yet. Let me try:

I bumped into this issue—again—a few days ago. After some quite remarkable psychological (I felt more peaceful and confident) and functional (I improved my walking) changes that came about by practicing my pelvis rolling class [How your pelvis connects to your head (UP9.1), youtube.com/watch?v=XOxG5hDnst]. I mean, I don’t mean by following along my own instructions as if they were mandatory guidelines, but by playing with the movements, on my own. In silence. And with music. Or while listening to podcasts. During the night or during the day. On my couch, in my bed, or on my carpet. For hours and hours, and hours. And let new movement patterns and discoveries reveal themselves, unfold.

I then, in search of reconciliation with society, I was reading Alice Miller. Or more like, I was flipping through some of her books, when the subsequent paragraphs drew my attention:

“These considerations help me to understand why so many analysts seem to shrink from their own discoveries. An example of this is offered by Helm Stierlin in Separating Parents and Adolescents (1974) when he uses the parable of the Prodigal Son to illustrate his therapeutic goals. The son returns from death to life by obediently coming back to his father, claims Stierlin, who thus, although he knows better, assigns obedience its biblical value. This means that the father designates as »death« everything that separated his son from him—the son’s youthful disobedience occurring at a time when the father was not part of his life—and describes as »life« his son’s return: »For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost and is found.« Since Stierlin sees it as his therapeutic task to bring about a reconciliation between children and parents, he doesn’t notice that he is identifying with the father’s interests, at least in this case, or that the son finds his way back to his father and wins his love by being obedient. Stierlin does not realize that a restoration of harmony is being celebrated here only at the price of the son’s acquiescence in his father’s definition of everything that separated his son from him as »death«. In terms of the symbolism of this scene, one could say that in Stierlin’s therapeutic endeavors to bring about reconciliation, the relevance of his concept of delegation and its usefulness to the profession must be sacrificed for the sake of reunion with the father.”

Citations from Alice Miller, Du sollst nicht merken, Suhrkamp Verlag, 1. Auflage 1981, Page 341, Kapitel C8. 80 Jahre Triebtheorie. In English: Alice Miller, Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, A Meridian Book, 1986, 9th printing, Page 201, Eighty Years of the Drive Theory.

Let me copy down the following paragraph as well:

“A similar phenomenon can be found in the case of Horst Eberhard Richter. The same author who in 1963 published a brilliant book, Parents, Child, and Neurosis, which described parental power and the child’s victimization within the family with virtually unprecedented accuracy, speaks in his book, Der Gotteskomplex (1979), in English language, All Mighty (1983), of the child’s escape from fantasized, fatal helplessness into narcissistic omnipotence. How did it come about that one of the leading experts on the child’s family situation now refers to fantasized and no longer real helplessness? Furthermore, how can we explain the fact that someone who sees and describes the formative influence of the social milieu on adults as clearly, empathically, and with such dedication as Richter can do so without any concern for the earliest imprints? This would not be so puzzling in itself, for a great many professional psychologists still do not know how markedly and lastingly the individual is shaped by his or her childhood. But Richter already knew this full well in 1963. What became of his knowledge?”

So this is the topic. And of course, we know, bad things might happen all the time, not just in early childhood. At any age and at any stage of our lives we might trust in someone, or be in a situation where we depend on someone, and then maybe not only get hurt a little bit, but get hurt badly, maybe even permanently disabled, altered, or entirely re-programmed. We might not even know that we missed an important developmental milestone, or sustained damage, or lost something essential… such as the ability to feel ourselves, or the ability to skip, roll, jump, squat, make music, bake bread, take care of someone, be compassionate, stay cool-headed in an argument, see the bigger picture… and neither to what extend, or even worse: we might have no idea how to recover or carry on (if there’s any insight at all).

I’ve written about this before, by quoting John Taylor Gatto, and his book, The Underground History Of American Education, and his essay, The Seven-Lesson Schoolteacher. It’s the same topic. Different movie, same plot.

I’ve seen it before, heard it before, and I’ve also read about it before (for example in the case Wilhelm Reich vs Sigmund Freud). I’ve felt it before, as a kind of knowing, but now I can almost see it clearly. It’s like in the movies, for example, Netflix Stranger Things Season 1. For a while you suspect there’s a monster, and then you know there’s a monster. But you don’t get to see it, yet. Only when you’re so many episodes into the season you finally get to see it in full scale and get an idea of the full situation.

And still. How to talk about it. How to write about it? And what to do about it? And what’s worse, I can see this sickness running even in my own profession. It’s like being in Jack Finney’s, The Body Snatchers. All over again. And up to now, with the tools at hand, sneaking out of the city and then performing a clean amputation seemed to be the only viable solution.

The Permission to Know

Many years ago I’ve seen a viral video of a whale that was caught up in fisher nets… probably has been for weeks already and could hardly move. Then there were divers who came to the whale’s rescue. They snipped all the ropes, removed the nets, the whale was free. But the whale didn’t move. It was still standing there in the water, floating like a Yoga block made of PU foam, as if the nets were still there (they weren’t). Just the marks from the ropes (that have been removed) were still running deep into his skin. The whale was finally free, but the wounds did cut deep into his soul. Everyone could see that the whale was free to move now, it was obvious, so why didn’t he?

In my last video lesson [Doorway into embodiment – proof of concept (UP9), youtube.com/watch?v=fZNSN5XedCU] we were resting on the front side, on the belly, and rolling the pelvis a bit to the left and to the right. There were some issues with the recording and the reception though, and therefore I was thinking about making another recording; and therefore continued to play with these movements.

Which made me fall to the floor (in a poetic sense). I started to extensively rest on my belly. I was sleeping for many hours. I moved just a little. „When you said to make the movements very small, this I found most interesting and helpful”, my brother told me. I fell asleep again. I woke up again, and moved again. The days passed by and I felt… what did I feel? Did I feel anything? Did I feel nothing? Did I feel save? I did feel peaceful, in a very quiet and unspectacular, unshared and unsocial kind of way.

I didn’t write or work much the past few days, ever since I fell to the floor.

What I did do was to rest a lot. And roll my pelvis a little bit to the left and to the right. And I also drew a lot of tiny circles with my elbows and feet in the air. These kind of things. And in between I was thinking. I was thinking about how to put those singular movements back together to a meaningful sequence. And I was thinking about the books of Alice Miller, most prominently her titles,  “For Your Own Good – Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence”, and “Thou Shalt Not Be Aware – Societies Betrayal of the Child”.

And I came to this conclusion:

There are no secret, hard to access, higher worlds hidden behind this world, other than the worlds we don’t allow ourselves to feel.

To set ourselves free, there need not be a struggle, no uproar, no crying with snot and tears, no anger and violence, no big cathartic events. There need not be a big search and inquiry into truth and the nature of reality.

But what we must do, can do, ought to do, is to move and to feel. Move the pelvis a little bit to the left and to the right. Take off our too-tight shoes and curl our toes down, then lift our toes up. If everybody can see that the whale is free, he probably is. But will he use his arms to paddle, his fin to steer? What will he do, where will he swim to next?

Practice, passion and persistence

Yesterday, when I crossed through the small park on the way to grocery shopping, I stopped to watch a dad (I suppose) take pictures of his boys (I assume) practicing a skateboard trick. He had them old-school jump over a low hanging rope that was set up between two skateboards (they had their skateboards roll underneath the rope while leaping with their feet over the rope). Little did he know (I guess) that I was watching him perform the most awesome trick of all: he was kneeling, like in a textbook Kneeling Sniper position.

He had his left foot standing flush on the floor, and his right knee leaning on the floor next to his left foot, his right foot was bent in its toes, and he was sitting with his pelvis on his right heel, his right heel perfectly placed in between his sit bones, a bit in the back, at the height of his sacrum.

Note to students: how would you describe his kneeling position in your own words? What’s the difference between describing a final position as opposed to describing how to get into that position?

This made me recall parts of a conversation I had a few days earlier with Bryson Newell (Somatic Primer podcast). We were talking about the practice of Feldenkrais and the kind of mindset one enters while practicing. I was happy that Bryson didn’t pester me with the frequently asked question, „How long do the good effects of a Feldenkrais lesson last?”, even though it would have been a valid question.

Thinking of it, a more relatable question: When you read a book, how long do the benefits of reading last? What part of book reading is permanent?

My answer: when I read out loud for 30 minutes–or more–every day my reading skills improves. But if I stop doing so my reading skills get worse within mere weeks. Most of what I read is gone and forgotten soon too, but some things, at least the gist of it, stay for life.

Now, kneeling. With my new „From The Ground Up” Youtube series [link] I noticed: it takes only a few days for me to almost completely lose the good effects from such a demanding Feldenkrais lesson. In this specific case, my ability to sit comfortably back down on my heels, with a hint at the possibility to sit in W-sitting fashion. If I don’t sit like this everyday at least once, it will be gone in less than a week for sure.

Therefore, the way to preserve the movements from a Feldenkrais lesson (I infer) is to put them into one’s active movement vocabulary. Much like with the vocabulary and sentence structure of spoken language, in movement too we go by, „use it or loose it” (I presume).

Also, when I think of the actual physical movements of Muslim prayer, the Ruku, Sujud, Tashahhud (I believe) the standing to kneeling to bowing down, maybe it’s reasonable to say (I generalise) that doing a movement 5 times per day is necessary to keep it in good shape? Because if I look at the people of my own culture—that was shaped by Christianity—maybe being supposed to kneel down only 2 times per day to say your prayers might not be enough to preserve your legs’ ability to fold down.

20 minutes later, after having finished my grocery shopping, I crossed through the same park again. The guy was still kneeling and taking pictures. „Pretty strong kneeling  practice”, I thought, “I should do some serious kneeling myself”, I reasoned. Also, glancing at his tired looking, slow moving kids and how they were being coerced into lining up again and again to practice the same old trick over and over, at this point (I conclude) they already hated Skateboarding more than anything else in this world.

The knees over toes movement

Plasteed just released a short clip from a dance battle, on his Youtube channel PLASTEED OFFICIAL [link]. This little bit of his clip I could not skip, it made me chip in with some jpg-strips in this post which I host. Enjoy!

I love his dance sequence, which he titled “Creature”. It fits perfectly into popular culture and the now super popular knees-over-toes fitness movement. Knee health and strengthening workouts do not have to be self contained though. Once we can move again, let’s move again, dance!

I took the clip to Apple’s Compressor to help me understand Plasteed’s sequence better: