First and most importantly, I learned how to bake cakes in a rice cooker.
Also, Lindsay wrote: „Hi Alfons, how are you doing? Like really”. Good question, thank you Lindsay. I would like to share my answer, because what is happening to me might be so specific that it’s generic. Maybe this post is a document, an account of… the times. The Zeitgeist.
I think I slipped into something like a „passive mode”… I listen to interviews and speeches (mostly concerning Covid and politics) for hours on end, I read literature, I watch Netflix, I stick my head out of my living room’s window to catch some raindrops with my face… time passes by quickly and even though I feel distressed about the clock spinning I find myself feeling comfortable with it.
In addition to that observation I’m spooked out and at the same time I’m indifferent to the fact that my idleness in producing content is damaging my business. I do work on interesting projects and pieces, I do have meaningful conversations with likeminded professionals and clients alike, but nevertheless it does happen that an entire week passes by without me completing a single shareable.
The strict lockdown I’m in, here in Vietnam, has been ongoing for 118 days now. That’s almost 4 months of being indoors with curfew and police randomly patrolling outdoors. News has it—it is said that—many International companies (such as Nike) start to seriously consider relocation. And thus restrictions will start to be lifted by 1st of October, for the fully vaccinated. I myself though, as an „Unvaccinated”, I will be staying at home until further notice. So… no news there.
I stick my head out of the window. The air is lovely. The streets are quiet. Raindrops are falling. It’s raining season. I wonder: how will I get out of this strange mode of floating in between the lines… Strangely enough, I really do seem to enjoy it.
For a few brief moments I’ve been considering going back to Austria, Europe, which would be a one way trip. But going back to Austria doesn’t seem like a good option. There’s reasons why I left. I felt stagnant there, uninspired. On top of that, the Austrian government is separating people into vaccinated and the Unvaccinated, maybe even more diligently than the Vietnamese. In Austria, too, only vaccinated citizens do get some of their allowances back. As long as they keep vaccinating that is. My father already signed up for his 3rd shot, as he was proud to tell us just recently. Via Email. In writing. The vaccinated and the Unvaccinated don’t talk to each other anymore. Journals have Paywalls. Families have Vaccinewalls. Apart from „get vaccinated already” there seems nothing else to say. Luckily my mother and my brother have a broader view on the situation, and we support each other well in these times of distress.
I almost feel like I’m back in school. I’m moving along just fine, but without any perspective, without any clear objective. And after graduating from one school, I move up to the next higher school, without ever knowing what to really do next.
Could this be a blog post?
It might just be. I will use this feeling of achievement, the energy I just got from completing a blog post, to download the screen recording of the short 3-hour-long pre-conference Zoom call I had yesterday. There’s conversations inside that excited me a great deal. Some people excel at telling stories, at asking questions, at being able to bring out the best in others. I remember I was brought to say things that sounded quite right to me. Maybe there’s a shareable right there.