Jay Heinrichs book „Thank You for Arguing” has been translated into eleven languages. It has become standard reading in high school AP English Language classes, gets taught in thousands of college and law school courses, and became a New York Times education bestseller. Yet, Jay Heinrichs’s videos on Youtube, in which he teaches how to write winning essays, are getting a mere few hundred views.

Meanwhile, some college students and uni grads, eloquent with great hair, thick eyebrows and winning smiles, even though new to the field, are getting millions of views on their videos on the same topic. Some of these young entrepreneurs make 7 figure incomes from it. Mind-blowing, to my mind.

Why does a renowned expert get such low views, and a newcomer millions? Why is that?

Thinking about it, the original reason might not be a lack of marketing bells-and-whistles, but utterly human: maybe a lot of children didn’t get the attention, space, environment, emotional nutrition, and love they needed. And thus – maybe – they spend a lifetime trying to make up for what they have been missing (or have been denied) in their first years.

Maybe one kind of „therapy”, or a way to make up for what was missing,  is finding a colourful thumbnail on Youtube. With a man or a woman who looks friendly and healthy. In just the right age the parents could have been in the past. Someone who leans into the camera just like mama (or papa) never did – or failed to do so often. And makes a funny face. Or a laughing face. Or a peek-a-boo face. Or looks like she’s about to sing a song. Or tell a story. Or eat a big dinner together. And maybe the friend on the screen is then explaining the world. In very simple terms. Very colorful. She explains how to be beautiful. He explains how to be successful. She encourages. He comforts. She sings. He tells. She. He. They. We.

I. feel. accepted. I. deserve. to be. loved.

These marketeers, actors, singers, content-creators, funnel-managers have a gentle, calming effect on the inner child. For a moment the pain, the discomfort, the scariness of life is reduced. Maybe even the loneliness disappeared, for a moment.

That’s pretty good actually. Self-selected micro-therapy, free of cost (and commitment).

But: How much of this do people need? When can they finally move on, and live their adult lives?